I have not stopped thanking God for you. I pray for you constantly, asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. – Ephesians 1:16-17 (NLT)

This week’s journal questions is … Holding my child for the first time I felt … and The prayers I have for my children …

The first time I held my child was right after I gave birth. While still attached with the umbilical cord he was placed on my bare stomach and chest for about ten to fifteen minutes. Most of that time was a blur to me. Everyone was still all excited and in enjoying the moment that he entered the world. And me personally I was mostly in shock. I partially was still in denial about the whole situation of being pregnant and having a child so when I actually laid eyes on him and felt his skin I was in shock, excitement and slightly disbelief. It wasn’t until a few hours later when I held him and fed him again that it really settled in and became truth for me. That was when I first realized that I was capable of loving another person more than myself. I have loved and continue to love and honor my husband and put his needs and desires before mine … but the love for my son is totally different.

I have so many prayers for my son. I mentioned in a previous post about a great book The Power of A Praying Parent. That book has really helped me pray some focused and direct prayers for my son ranging from health, salvation, happiness, growth, relationships, education. I know he is only nine months old now but the is no harm in starting the prayers early.

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Making the decision to have a child – it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body – Elizabeth Stone

This week’s questions are … Experiencing motherhood for the first time. And When I was pregnant I’ll never forget …

Dear precious son of mine,

I consider my first experience with motherhood to be a few hours after you were born. Right after you entered this world and we met face to face, we spent a few moment together. You laid on my chest and we got to know each other and feel each other warmth. You then spent about an hour with your daddy getting all checked out by him and he took you to met some of your other family members and friends. Meanwhile, I was getting cleaned up and taken care of getting ready for our big moment. You were finally brought back to me and we had our first real bond moment together. This was the first time that we attempted to breastfeed. At that time I really didn’t think it went all the successful but looking at it now I realized just how much we accomplished that night. It was in that moment that I first felt like a mother and experienced motherhood. I realized then just how important we were to each other and how much we were going to forever need each other.

When I was pregnant I will never forget the first time that I heard your heart beat. You were only inside my tummy for nine weeks when we went for our first ultrasound. You were already pretty busy in there and moving and a lot. We saw your little body wiggling around and being just as curious as you are today. Then the ultra sound tech turned on the monitor and we heard our tiny heart beating at a super quick one hundred and sixty beats a minute. That was the first time I really believed that there in fact was truly another life growing inside of me. GOD IS SO GOOD!!!

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Bleeding

You expect the postpartum bleeding, but it’s the blood clots you might not think about. These clots of blood can come out most frequently in the first few days. This usually happens after you’ve been resting awhile and stand up. Walking around wearing a depends diaper wasn’t what I pictured for the first few days but they shortly became my best friend after the first few hours. I eventually made it to regular pads, then just panty liners before being free from any bleeding. It can take anywhere from 1 week to 6 weeks before you are clear from any bleeding.

Swelling

Just when you thought that swelling was a thing of the past, it’s back! Many women receive IV fluids in labor and this can contribute to postpartum swelling in the first few days post birth. The good news is that it’s often very short lived. Many women find that this swelling which usually starts in the feet and can work their way up tends to go down once their milk production kicks in and the baby gets some good feedings in.

Sweating

Many women find that for a couple of days after they give birth they are sweating a lot with most women experiencing this symptom only at night (a few find it happens all day). Try to shower when you can and wear absorbent fabrics like cotton when you sleep to help make you more comfortable. I found that my sweating actually helped significantly with getting the swelling down.

Hunger

A large percentage of moms say immediately following their birth is – “I’m hungry!” This was very real for me. Within 30 minutes of giving birth my mom went across the street from the birthing center and picked up some Burger King for me. Oh I remember that meal as the best meal ever. Whopper Jr, Medium fries and a chocolate milk shake. I can t still taste it. Be careful though for many women this feeling can last a few days or a few months. Be sure that you are choosing snacks that are wise for your nutritional needs.

Episiotomy Care

Your bottom is where you expect it to hurt. Chances are you’re feeling a bit tender in the area from your vagina to your rectum, the perineum. This whole area expanded to allow the birth of the baby and slowly goes back into shape. These tissues may be swollen and ice packs right after birth can be very beneficial. You are more likely to have pain here if you had stitches of any type, also if a vacuum extractor or forceps was used your tissues may have sustained more damage.

A sitz bath can also be beneficial. In the hospital or birth center the nurses will show you how to do this bath. Sometimes you can even get a portable one to use at home. Some companies even sell herbal sitz baths for promotion of healing and comfort.

Engorged Breast

Whether you intend on breastfeeding or not your milk supply will come in somewhere between 2-5 days after giving birth. When that happens your poor breast will swell and become … well … engorged. To help with the pain and swelling babycenter.com recommends the following:

• Wear a supportive nursing bra, even at night. Be sure it isn’t too tight.
• Nurse frequently — every two to three hours — even if it means waking your baby.
• Avoid having your baby latch on and suckle when the areola — the dark area around your nipple — is very firm.
• Avoid pumping milk except when you need to soften the areola or when your baby is unable to latch on. Excessive or habitual pumping can lead to overproduction of milk and prolonged engorgement.
• While your baby’s nursing, gently massage the breast he’s on. This encourages milk to flow and will help relieve some of the tightness and discomfort.
• To soothe the pain and help relieve swelling, apply cold packs to your breasts for a short period after nursing. Crushed ice in a plastic bag works well.
• If you’re really in pain, take ibuprofen, acetaminophen, or a mild pain reliever prescribed by your healthcare provider.
• Don’t apply direct heat, such as warm washcloths, heating pads, or hot water bottles, to your engorged breasts unless it’s to soften the areola and help your milk letdown. Instead of alleviating the pain, this may make the condition worse

Uterus Messages

Okay so this one wasn’t too bad, but it was just yet another thing to think about and make sure I did. As if the postpartum contractions weren’t bad enough … and trust me, they can be rough some times … it is highly recommended that you message your uterus until it returns to its original size. It helps with the bleeding and such. My midwife instructed me to do this after each feeding and each time I used the rest room.

That is a lot to think about. So many different things going on. Add to all that:

• Stress of becoming a new parent
• Worries if baby is really getting enough food or do you have to give in and give them formula to supplement even though you really didn’t want to
• Does my baby have jaundice?
• Trying to explain to each family member that No it isn’t okay to touch the baby yet only to have to apologize for hurting their feelings. Seriously??
• What’s that spot on the babies back, that wasn’t there when they were born.

Its no wonder that 10-15% of women suffer from postpartum depression. Watch out ladies, that first step is a dozy. They say if you can survive the first 12 days, then the next 21 years should be  a breeze.

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As most couples do/should do in preparation for the birth of their child, my husband and I recently sat down and prepared what we thought was a very comprehensible birth plan. We sat down and really thought of what we considered to be the best and most comfortable way to bring our son into the world. Okay so it was a fill in the blank, multiple choice online birth plan, but hey it had questions we didn’t think about before so to us it was seriously comprehensive

Birthing at a birthing center really put us ahead in assuring the birth plan we wanted would be attainable. Which translates really into no nurses constantly asking ‘Are you sure you don’t want an epidural?’ For hundredth time NO!

One thing that came late in the plan was the addition of a doula. Originally we had all intentions of attending birthing classes and learning all we can to survive the pain and agony of natural labor. However, those plans were cut short once I was placed on strict bed rest. We did manage to get a few classes in, but not enough to really say we were prepared. Shortly after finding out I would be stuck in bed for weeks/months leading up to my delivery a lady named Jen contacted me on Cafe Mom. We discovered that she delivered her first baby at the same birthing center that I would be at. We made a great connection and she informed me that she was a doula.

Before meeting Jen I had heard about doulas and the services they provide. I was very interested but had some convincing to do with the hubby. He wanted to make sure that his role in the labor wouldn’t be lost by adding someone like a doula. So we sat down one Saturday morning with Jen to discus what her services could offer and how they could blend with his support without over shadowing it. Thankfully he was happy with the information he received and from then on we had ourselves a doula.

I am so glad that we found Jen and decided to hire her. Since then she has provided a great service to our family and a tremendous help both during the pregnancy and post partum. Before we delivered Jen was able help us develop a more detailed birth plan, teach us some great relaxation techniques, stretches, counter pressure points, ways to open my pelvis and most importantly the three L’s to contractions (long, loud and low). She was an amazing support during the labor providing counter pressure, taking me on walks, squatting and reminding me to breathe during each contractions. Post labor support has been great also providing help with breastfeeding and knowledge on post partum recovery.

I highly recommend Jen to all my pregnant buddies and if we are blessed with another child you can bet she will be there. Hopefully by then she would have fulfilled her goal of becoming a midwife as well.

You can check out Jen and her services at www.BetterBirthDoulaServices.webs.com.

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Well I want to hear some real stories. What was your experience? Did you have an early or late delivery? Or did your little one(s) arrive just on time? And how did you spend your day in waiting if you had one?

Me, I haven’t reached there yet, but I have had several dreams, all with the same results. If they hold any truth, I will be delivering slightly early and my labor/pushing time under 3o minutes … aha I love dreams.

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Recently some one posed a question to one of the on-line pregnancy groups that I am a member of and the results were astounding. Someone asked … ‘Anyone not doing birthing classes?’ and the answers came back a overall ‘NO.’ I was amazed and thought ‘what was wrong with my hubby and I who are ecstatic and excited for our classes that start this week.’

I was confused and thought that we were being mislead into thinking the classes were worth it. But the more I read into their answers the more I realized … not all pregnant people are bright. Here are examples of some of their reasons for not attending the class:

• From what I’ve heard from friends they aren’t that necessary, plus they’re expensive.
• I went to free ones w/ my first and it was a waste of time. I already knew most of the stuff they talked about from other places anyway.
• labor begins—> it hurts—> get epidural—> giggle with DH —>push when MW says so—> hold newborn—> baby opens mouth —> insert bewbie—> take shower—> take advantage of hospital staff—> go home
• not because it’s my second child but because if you plan on having an epidural, you don’t really need to learn all the exercise ball tricks, and breathing exercises…
• I owe him the consideration of NOT dragging him to a birthing class (speaking of hubby)

Some of these reasonings I found comical and uneducated, others just made me upset. From what it sounds like a lot of people already had a preconceived notion that the classes are a waste or a joke and go to the session with that mindset and end up leaving half way through and not getting the full education. Or the women who think ‘oh I am just going to push and be fine.’ One of the worse comments is about having an epidural so you don’t need to learn the information … seriously?!?!? Oh and my favorite, not having to drag her hubby … I just get so upset about all the couples out there who’s men either show no interest in the babies development or make it seem that it is a core to be involved. If anything could degrade a pregnant woman that would be number one on the list.

Okay, I am done ranting and raving. I don’t mean to offend anyone or their opinions, but I just find it funny for people who have never participated in something before advise others it is a waste. I am hopeful about our decision to attend the classes and look forward to what additional information we will learn regarding our lil monkey, his development and eventual birth. I strongly encourage all first time mothers out there to attend one and see for yourself if you truly learn nothing like your friends may imply.

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