Now, now I know some of you mothers out there had those same thoughts before your own bundle of joy(s) arrived in your life so don’t even go there with the … she’s so mean stuff.

But to be real, how can some one who has been so self-centered, self-serving and impatient bring a child into the world and be considered a good mother? Well that was my thought and mindset of this pregnancy up to recently. I has spent most of my pregnancy deny the reality of it all, and not really planning for the arrival of a new life. I had been going through the emotions and physical aspects of pregnancy and anticipating the delivery, but not really thinking of the aftermath, the newborn baby. From the way I was feeling I didn’t think there was anyway for me to get ride of my fears of being an uncaring mean mommy.

It wasn’t until my 22nd week of pregnancy when the motherly feeling finally hit me. My hubby and I were attending a breastfeeding education class at Babies R Us (yes that is right, my husband came with me because he cares.) Up to then, everything we had been reading, watching and learning was focused on the pregnancy and birth. This was the first thing that we experienced that discussed what to do with the little one after he came out of the protection of the womb and into my arms. For the first time I closed my eyes and envisioned holding and breastfeeding this little baby boy. It was one of those surreal day dreams with smoke and the lights and mirrors the right music playing in the back ground. It was then that I realized … I love this child … and I’m going to do what it takes to be the best mother on this great green planet.

From then on, I would skim through the weekly updates on how the pregnancy is developing but my primary focus has been to read up on any and everything I could think of to ensure my baby will be taken care of in my home. You name it, I am reading on it, and if I haven’t yet, I will be now. From hygiene, to education, to nutrition, to safety, I’m trying to be a walking source of ‘what to do when …’ facts for my baby.

Milestone moment: How I knew I had truly arrived into the motherly realm. We were in public, I think it was Olive Gardens, waiting to be served and there it was … a crying baby just tables away from us. But what did I do, I turned and looked at the family and smiled at the mother who was attempting to ease the child’s tears. My smile wasn’t out of pity or frustration, it was out of hope. It was a smile of reassurance to the mother that she will figure out what her baby needs and she will overcome this small obstacle today.

No more Miss Meany Lady.

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My ideal around the world trip would have to include stops at the following countries. The trip just wouldn’t be complete without spending some time at each one.

• Japan
• Australia
• China
• Germany
• France
• Norway
• South Africa
• Peru
• Egypt

Honestly the order doesn’t really matter except Japan, we would have to go there first, I have always wanted to travel to Japan and see the cities first hand. Ever since I can remember I have been fascinated by the people, their culture, their language, music, food, you name it. I told hubby that if found out we couldn’t have our own children, I would love to travel to Japan and adopt a child from there. I know, we can still do that one day even though we are in the process of having our own now … it’s still up for discussion.

But I have to face reality and accept that unless we win the lottery, or fall into heaps of money, this will just have to be a fantasy for now. Thank God for the Internet and plentiful amount of articles, pictures, videos and music. I can at least live my dreams there for now. My good friend recently took a trip back to her native country and was able to share here culture with me when she returned by posting some awesome blogs about her time www.modernmami.com. You could almost taste the food in some of her pictures.

Anyone else have similar dreams? Or have you been lucky enough to travel outside of the USA and see other cultures for yourself. Would love to hear your stories and see some pictures.

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